


Snakedance

by fiveainley_ohmy



Series: The Weird and Sexual Adventures of Doctor Who [6]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen, Mara!Five, WTF, poledancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-07 05:51:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3163646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveainley_ohmy/pseuds/fiveainley_ohmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Doctor is possessed by the Mara, he takes up an odd hobby.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snakedance

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, what the fuck is wrong with me.

The Doctor, after getting possessed by the Mara, had gone missing, and was now somewhere, running around on Manussa, probably causing all types of trouble. The TARDIS crew hadn't seen their well-loved leader in some time, and they were getting worried.

"Tegan!" Nyssa gasped, coming from around the corner. She'd been running and was out of breath. She bent over, hands on her knees, breathing hard. "Have you found him?"

"No," said Tegan, frustrated. "Where could he possibly be?"

"I don't know," said Nyssa, shaking her frizzy head. "This is a large planet-he could be anywhere!"

Tegan gestured uselessly with her arms. "Who knows. By now, he could have found the TARDIS and abandoned us on this Godforsaken planet!"

"Trust me, he hasn't," said Turlough, coming from down the street.

"Where is he, Turlough?" Tegan asked.

"Just...come on," said the Trion, shaking his head, leading the girls away.

* * *

"He's in there," said Turlough, after the trio had walked to a club. There were flashing lights and suggestive ads outside.

"Er, Turlough," said Tegan, eyeing the establishment with a worrisome pit of suspicion in her stomach. "This isn't the kind of business I think it is, is it?"

"I'm afraid so," said Turlough.

"What is it?" Nyssa asked innocently.

Tegan and Turlough gave each other furtive looks. "Nyssa, maybe you should just wait outside," Tegan said.

"Why? What sort of business could the Doctor possibly be up to in there?" Nyssa made for the door.

"Nyssa, wait!" But it was too late. She was already inside.

With slight groans, Tegan and Turlough ran in after her.

Inside, Nyssa was staring horrified at the main attraction of the club. "I tried to warn you," said Tegan.

As it turned out, the joint was actually a racy strip club (which Tegan found odd that they had one on a foreign planet). The stage was currently occupied by a familiar blonde man dressed in very skimpy clothes, curling his long athletic limbs around the tall metal pole in the center. There was a snake design curled around his right arm, and the onlookers were energetically showering the stage with bills of Manussian currency.

"What...what's he doing?" Nyssa asked quietly, still in a state of shock.

"It's sort of a performance art. It's called 'pole dancing'," Tegan explained absently. All three of them had their eyes fixated on their poor friend making a fool of himself.

"It's a bit more... _sexual_ than the Doctor's normal activities," Nyssa gulped.

"Yer...I'm gonna assume that's the Mara...rabbits, is he flexible-"

"What are we going to do?" Turlough asked.

Tegan was still struck dumb (for once in her life). "I...dunno."

They looked on as the Doctor shook his fanny in one guy's face.

"Um...we need to find a way to expel the Mara. And soon," said Tegan. Nyssa let out a small noise of assent and nodded.

"Should we...mention this to the Doctor?" asked Turlough.

"Oh, God, no."


End file.
